Earth Trembles

Proverbs 30:21a,23a -- "Under three things the earth trembles...an unloved woman who is married,"

Though the sun is bright, warm with comfort, lighting up the ripples on the water that moves with fish nibbling on bread crumbs and the red-eared sliders that try to get in on the action before the food is gone - she is cold. You wouldn't know it to look at her, but I know it because I've seen her so often in this spot, brushing the tears from her cheeks quickly, in hopes that no one will notice she's been crying. But I notice. I always notice. And I can read the body language as if it were my own. Probably because long ago, it was my own.

Leaning over with her arms crossed tightly over her stomach, she places her head between her knees and peeks out at the ducks. This is a broken woman. She has learned of her husband's affair and now has some pretty tough decisions to make.

A previously divorced woman, I was once asked how it is I can excuse the fact that divorce is a sin? How is it I have allowed myself to re-marry when it goes against the Word of God? Let me first say that the Bible has several references to divorce, including one that instructs men to issue their x-wives a certificate that she may move forward in her life without shame. But I will leave this particular questions unanswered for the moment because I want to address a woman's pain. And in some cases - a man's pain - when trust, union, and even love have been abandoned in a marriage.

The earth trembles. I can nearly feel it as I watch this woman, sitting on the grass feeling the most alone anyone can feel. I feel the ground beneath her sigh, even as she sighs and her shoulders begin to shake in another gut wrenching wave of sobs.

The truth is, God doesn't want this woman to be unloved. Proverbs makes that clear. At the end of verse 21 the Bible says: "under four, it cannot bare up." God's Word says that a woman unloved in her marriage is unbearable. I don't think it's too far fetched to think that the same applies to an unloved man in his marriage. AND - I think it applies to more than just the physical act of an affair.

I have seen women simply exist in a marriage. Every day becomes a monotonous going-through-the-motions. For these women there is no tenderness. No celebration of the beauty that they really are. No brightly lit candles on birthdays and no fancy dinners for anniversaries. It breaks my heart. There seems to be no recourse - there isn't really any physical thing that I can do for these women. Which sometimes makes me feel useless - but the one thing I CAN do -- is walk over to the woman on the grass and sit down beside her, knowing my backside is going to be wet when I get back up from the dew that still clings to the ground - I put my hand on her shoulder and cry with her. Hurt with her. Pray with her. I tell her God knows her pain. And He can't "bare  up" what she is going through.

I would never presume to tell her HOW to handle her situation, and in this case, I won't tell her how I once handled mine - it needs to be between her and the Lord. But I will offer her God's promise that He will never leave her nor forsake her. I will share with her that in the morning, rejoicing comes and that God does, indeed, have hope and a future just for her.

God does tell us in the Bible to speak to fellow Christians in love, to let them know they've strayed from the path He's chosen. I cannot argue with that. However, it ALSO says in the Bible, to love they neighbor. To offer grace as it was once [and often] offered to you. It is THIS encouragement I hope to have portrayed in today's blog. That perhaps, just for moment, we can focus on the need for comfort needed by a very broken heart, rather than rebuke an already injured soul who might be faced with a less than perfect solution to a damaged, broken marriage.