Christmas In Chaos

Ecclesiastes 9:1 -- "For I have taken all this to my heart and explain it that righteous men, wise men, and their deeds are in the hand of God."

Looking down at my toes under the crisp white hospital blanket I couldn't help but think of all the wonderful things I was suppose to do be doing.   ...wrapping up the last of the gifts instead of looking out at a gray-ish sky from my hospital room. Getting cookies ready to take to the family Christmas eve party instead of trying to turn my head without yanking on the drainage tube just below my left ear. Attending to last minute touch-ups on my make-up and hair instead of fiddling with the gauze bandage wrapped around my head.

I had plans. It was Christmas Eve, for crying out loud! Having a sudden surgery to rid my head/face of a tumor embedded deep in my parotid gland wasn't on the list. At least, it wasn't on my list. I guess it was on my surgeon's list. And all those nice nurses making rounds. And the kitchen crew downstairs....and well, good grief, my Pastor even popped in for a quick hello. On Christmas Eve! How nice was that? Not only that, but my Family Practice Doctor came in to say hello. On Christmas Eve! And then my parents, and the music minister from Church, and our Sunday School teacher .... wow!

Image: BoredPanda [www.boredpanda.com]

In all of this feeling sorry for myself I hadn't stopped to consider that in the middle of this unexpectedness - Christmas WAS actually still happening all around me. In a very beautiful way. I might not have been at my prettiest - what with the drainage tube and the blue hospital gown, etc. but people were walking in with big fat smiles on their faces to tell me Merry Christmas! They probably had plans, too. But they were taking time out from them to grant me some holiday cheer.

Come to think of it - it was just unexpected to me. God knew all about it. He wasn't at all surprised when they removed a tumor the size of a golf ball that seemed to just pop up over night. He wasn't shocked that I'd barely make it home for Christmas. The entire time I felt dazed and overwhelmed, I was in God's wonderful and mighty hands! The ENTIRE time.

I bet Mary had made some plans of her own that first of all Christmases. How excited she must have been, engaged to be married, wrapping up a calendar year with so much hope for the one right around the corner. I'm willing to bet her plans didn't include an unexpected pregnancy, a surprise census, and a long journey on donkey-back with her water about to break. 

But, those things weren't a surprise to God. Indeed, they were long awaited and planned! Every detail. Even the donkey-back ride! Mary's mood probably didn't resemble joy as she hunkered down on the floor of a stable to give birth to her first born child - but the chaotic moment gave us THE most precious and most amazing miracle ever! Now we have joy and real reason to celebrate!

....so what if Mary's original plans had all come to pass? What if that first Christmas and new year had all unfurled without so much as a hitch and just as Mary had imagined? Well, it wouldn't have been Christmas at all, would it?

I'm glad God is the One in control. I'm glad that every day on this earth rests sheltered in His strong hands.

Baby On Board!

Galatians 4:4-5 -- "But when the fullness of the time came, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the Law, so that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons."

Image: Clive Goddard  [cartoonstock.com]

The house filled up with warm laughter, the smell of coffee, and the din of little ones giggling as they scampered up and down the stairs, getting into trouble for it because "the stairs are not toys!".  Most of us gravitated toward to the back porch where Grandma was seated.  We didn't end up there just because that's where the gifts would be passed around, but because that's where Grandma was. The porch was her dream and when it was finished, it became the heart of the festivities.

As we collected out there, surrounded by Florida beauty - Cypress tress, hanging Spanish Moss, and a Heron or two on the banks of the Saint Johns River, some one eventually played Santa [usually the littlest ones to keep them busy]. Let the passing around of gifts ensue! ...Followed, of course, by the inevitable wrapping paper fight.

It was rumored that Grandpa Claude Saunders himself rolled up the first ball of discarded Christmas wrapping paper and threw it at an unsuspecting passer-by. I don't know about that, and he's no longer here to defend himself - but no matter how it was started,  we are more than happy to keep the tradition going. That is, until one of us gets hits too hard in the face and we get into trouble...and Grandma tells us to settle down and knock it off before somebody REALLY gets hurt.

Yes. We're adults.

My favorite part? The stories. 

Especially Grandma's stories. She is now the family Elder and I like to tease the memories out of her before they fade too far into the past and can no longer be stolen back from that ultimate of all thieves, time. When she gets going, there's not a dry eye in the house - we all get to laughing so hard.

I asked her once, how many of her children were actually born in the hospital. I can't remember the exact number but I DO remember that at least two of them were born in the car on the way there. You see, "way back then" there was no such thing as Orange Park Hospital. Grandma had to get from Doctor's Lake Drive to Gainesville in order to get to the delivery room, and a couple of her little ones just weren't going to wait that long to make their entrance.

Can you imagine that? Giving birth in the car? Ugh. you should see the floor board of my car. My husband eats his lunch in there at lot ... so, well, you can imagine. I wouldn't want to have a baby in it. Where would you put the IV drip? Where would the doctor sit? How would he fit the nurses in there or all that stuff they need to clean the baby up after he/she is born?

Gives me the willies thinkin' about it. I think they must have been a tougher breed of women back in Grandma's day. Ya know, give birth in the mornin', go do chores that afternoon with a newborn strapped to your back or hip.

I tell ya what, Grandma gave a whole new meaning to that little slogan "Baby on Board!".

Now imagine....what Mary must have gone through. She didn't even have the luxury of an automobile. She didn't even have that kind of privacy. No delivery rooms. No doctors.

Wow. Just .... Wow.

And don't even get me started on that donkey ride. Ugh!

I am so very thankful for Christmas. Trust me, I know I get super, super grumpy. At the traffic. At the crowds that run me over with their over-filled buggies. At the chaos and the commercialism. But for the REAL Christmas .... I am so very, very thankful. We are redeemed because God gave us His Son.

How could I NOT want to celebrate that?

Done And REDone

II Corinthians 7:10 -- "For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation: but the sorrow of the world produces death."  [NASB]

image: digitaltrends.com

Listening for that wonderful hiss, I pressed the middle cup size button on my Keurig and awaited that glorious aroma of dark roasted Arabica beans. The gurgle of hot water filling the K-Cup enhanced my anticipation and my stomach gurgled ever so slightly. I started to reach for the cream so conveniently nestled into its little cradle just inside the door of the fridge when my eyes caught something as I turned my head.

Drawing up my nose and pulling my eyes  into a critical squint I leaned in closer to the miracle that is Keurig. There! A very fine layer of dust had settled on top of the sleek black and faux chrome finish of my coffee machine. But I just dusted the thing two days ago! How can it already look as if its been neglected in some lonely basement filled with discarded cardboard boxes and tiny whips of spider webbing!?

Ugh!

I figured out why I hate housework so much! It doesn't matter how often I dust, do the dishes, or finish up the laundry - those chores are never truly done. There is always MORE! Even as the dishwasher hums away with steam billowing out from the top and the dryer buzzes with it's annoying cycle finished indicator - the sink has already accumulated three dishes in it - and the basket in my closet designated "lights" has already been half REfilled!

Grrrrrr - mumble mumble mumble - and gripe!

I COULD just walk away. Ignore my Swiffer as I grab that first eye-opening cup of coffee of the day and slip into the seat by the back door to listen to the birds sing and watch the sun come up. I really COULD. ....just pretend all of the household stuff is really finished. But alas - what good will that do? If I go ahead and clean the Keurig now I'll keep the dust from growing and ultimately exploding into little dust bunnies that multiply like their namesake and end up floating away into the air only to set up some weird dust bunny community on the blades of the ceiling fan.

Fine. I'll grab the duster....

Which got me to thinking. WE are much like the never-ending list of things to do around the house are we not? We are not ever really complete. The work our Lord began on us, in us, and through us is never truly finished. We are continuously growing, learning ... experiencing God's grace.

There will never be a time during my earthly life when I can sit back and say - oh, I'm done. I've no more things for which to be held accountable. I have made no more mistakes and have absolutely no new thing for which I need forgiveness.

The GOOD news is - unlike my ever growing list of chores - MY daily growth is a beautiful and marvelous thing. When Jesus fills me with conviction or inspiration, it is a good, good thing. There is no regret in my righteous spiritual sorrow for things I've done that need God's mercy. Obviously, I don't need to set out to require forgiveness, but the deep ache I feel when I make a mistake is a pure thing - a growing pain if you will. The gift is an awareness of my Lord and Savior.

So - I really DON'T want the sweet To Do list of Jesus Christ as it may pertain to my life to be truly finished.

Thomas Carlyle, a Scottish philosopher in the 1800's, once said: "Of all acts of man, repentance is the most divine. The greatest of all faults is to be conscious of none."

NOW - I can sit down and watch the day wake up. I can smile to myself as the bright red Cardinal chases squirrels off the bird feeder in the back yard. I can sip on my coffee with a grin as sunlight slowly infiltrates the dense crop of trees in the forest behind our house and I listen to the wonderful sounds that indicate Thursday is up and running.

I'm so very thankful that Jesus isn't finished with me yet. I will always be in need of a REdo or a NEWdo.

Pretty sweet.

Once And Future Joy

Jeremiah 31:4b -- "Again you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful."

image: "Tabourine Dancer" by Eggleston

Soft, cool, lush grass sprung under bare feet and tree leaves danced on whimsical breezes. Dew drops sparkled with fresh morning sunlight while brightly colored birds sang loudly - unintimidated by the couple who walked hand in hand through a perfect nature.

There was no love deeper than the love gifted to them by their Father. And with Him they would spend hours walking through the amazing and brand new earth.

What joy! What light - shining around them as their Creator joined them on this daily stroll. It seemed that nothing could keep them apart from Him. Nothing could tarnish their love of their Lord and their deep ache to meet with Him, talk with Him, love Him. I can picture it so clearly when I shut my eyes. I can nearly smell the lush beauty growing around them, hear the gently gurgling brooks, and taste the pristine fruit growing so ready and ripe on low hanging branches.

Sheer perfection.

Don't you ache for that? When bombarded with depressing arguments over public bathrooms, inconsiderate and self-absorbed commuters, terrorism, and economic destruction don't you ache for the long-awaited opportunity to bow low at the feet of Jesus and love him in person?

I do.

And the wonderful thing is - we will! Jeremiah 31:4 reminds us that we will once again take up our musical instruments and go out to dance with the joyful. There is our hope, our light - our once and future joy! This cacophony of human discord and imperfection is but a fleeting moment. This place is not our treasure. It is not our home. It's only a short blink of the eye.

Dear Jesus, thank you so much for the gift of your blood as you took all of my sin upon your shoulders on the cross. Thank you for your hope. Thank you for the gift of future joy. Thank you for the earthly dances you have gifted to me and for the great and wonderful jubilee that is to come.