Taking Pause

Psalm 8:1 -- "Oh Lord our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!"

The storms blew in fast and furious. The bird song reverberating through the chimney and into our living room had hardly stopped when the winds took up speed and the skies opened like Niagara Falls. Quick to follow was the crack of lightning - and then the satellite signal was lost to "rain fade".  This didn't really bother me, I was reading, anyway and anybody who really knows me knows I love a good thunderstorm - but the gaggle of guys in my house grumbled as their programs froze into colorful squares, forming unknown textures that resembled a paint by numbers piece. I loved the would-be quiet, listening to the heavy rains beat their music on the roof tops, feeling the rumble of the thunder in my toes through the floor. Picture frames bounced against the walls and do-dads set out for decoration rattled in protest.  No question, the lightning was close. I was, at once, grateful that in our new house, we have no tall oaks to shed limbs that crash into the house.

I wondered where the bird that only seconds before sang so brilliantly down into our chimney was riding out the storm. I thought about the female Mallard with the broken wing, and managed to catch a glimpse of her waddling toward the bush daisies that frame my Crape Myrtle out in the back yard.  She was safe and sound, all be it, alone.  The rest of her gang can take flight where she cannot.

When the satellite signal punched through the storm clouds the TV lit up with an automobile commercial. A happy face was peering up through a canopy of trees while the rain poured down, splashing onto his nose, his forehead, and the easel onto which he was trying to capture the magic, the beauty, the art as seen through his eyes. Immediately I thought: job well done..... the auto company advertised a machine that simply by its use produces some damage to our planet, but continuously bombarded the consumer with bright green forests, crisp rain, flowing rivers, and waves crashing against pristine coast lines. Sneaky - if you ask me. But very well choreographed. The commercial, did, however, make me stop and "enjoy the view".  A wonderful view that the auto company explained so efficiently one could not reach without purchasing their machine.

Ignoring the advertisement, I focused on the color. The fragile lighting. The crisp flowers and brilliant sunset. I took a peek outside and watched the Crape Myrtle all but sling my bird feeders to the ground, the duck snugly tucked in with beak under wing, and the rain that so evenly disrupted the surface of the pond. I wonder what it looked like to the fish.  Do they enjoy the sounds? Or are they afraid? I think I would settle in the soft layer of sediment at the bottom and look up to watch the rain drops break the surface tension and then splash upward.

How wonderfully majestic is our Lord! How amazing are the works of our Creator. The power and the fury of an afternoon thunderstorm, the bright, lush greens that the rains provide, and that smell of wet earth and steam rising from the black top on the streets when the tantrum passes, allowing the hot Florida sunshine to pop back out and dry everything off again.

The broken Mallard peeked out from the bush daisies, shook water from her back and slipped into the pond. The dragon flies as big as humming birds played tag around the big fat Magnolia blossoms and Green Anolies took turn doing push ups on the edge of the concrete porch - trying to outdo one another with their bright red do-laps.

I smile. O Lord....MY Lord, how majestic is Your name in ALL the earth!

Blessed Assurance

John 14:27 -- "I am leaving you with a gift -- peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid."

Curled up with good book, feet tucked up underneath my legs in my favorite chair, the din of my three guys fades away, barely audible around the edges of my comfortable personal space. I do so love a really good book. I enjoy slipping into the characters, the setting, the adventures like my toes going into a deep bubble bath when the water temperature is perfect.

But a commercial cracks into my perfection. And I'm "forced" to listen to a woman complaining about her peace of mind due to the recent break-in  of her home. She's lost her peace of mind. Not to fear.....she gets it back because she purchased it through an alarm system company.

Really? The alarm system gives her peace of mind? I hate to bust her happy bubble, but if a burglar wants in - he's getting in. Period.

An image flashed into my head of a hot and balmy night, an abrupt awakening from a deep sleep and our Doberman Pincer growling on the landing of our split level home in the tropical southern Philippines.  I didn't have to be told what was going on. I knew the minute my eyes opened that we were being robbed. I tip-toed to the door way of my bedroom, hoping the wood flooring wouldn't creek underneath my feet and give me away. As Pharaoh let out another deep growl that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, I saw the living room lights come on and heard the front door open with a timid slide of the chain and a click of the dead bolt. Dad must have known what was going on even before I did because I could hear him yelling out into the drive-way:   "HEY!". Metal clanging onto the concrete car port and foot steps high tailing it back over the fence in our front yard told me the "heist" was over. Dad scared them off. And our wonderful Pharaoh was let off his chain to ensure the would-be thieves were properly motivated to keep on running. And that was the end of that.

Pharaoh was given a treat, loved intensely by my Dad, and returned to his post as guard on the stair way landing. Dad flipped the lights back off, secured the chain and the dead bolt back to their secure state,  and assured me things were o.k. as he went back to bed.

We didn't have an alarm system. With inconsistent electrical service it wouldn't have really made a difference if we did.....but we DID have peace of mind. We had a gift that the world could not give us.

Missionaries in a foreign land, we were confident in our Lord, Jesus Christ -- we were indeed WHERE we were supposed to be, DOING exactly what God wanted us to do. John 14:27 confirmed that we are always in God's hands. Even when the people of this world don't cooperate and deal out some damage using the free will that God granted them.

I cannot say that nothing bad ever happens to the children of God. Just turn the TV on and watch a few snip-its of the news....bad things happen to good people all the time. But we are given a gift that the world, just cannot give us. The most sophisticated of alarm systems, 911 operators and speedy EMS teams can't grant it for us, self defense classes and licenses to "pack heat" can't grant it for us. Heavy fortifications and barred windows can't grant it for us. Only Jesus can.


Peace of mind and heart. We are wrapped snugly in the arms of our precious Lord. Held tight in the strength and security of Salvation gifted to us through the blood shed by Jesus Christ.  Let the world keep on turnin' - let the bright yellow sun in the sky keep on burnin' and tides come in and out as they chase the phases of the moon... we are in God's arms. Whatever happens.....we are in God's arms. What better peace could there possibly be?

Gate Keeper

John 10:9 -- "I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture."

Dust can be seen settling on a dirt and gravel road as a strange "futuristic" car pulls up to an electronic, blue-ish gel like structure that the good people of Defiance call a gate. It's for protection. It keeps the sci-fi "baddies" out. Nestled peacefully under what used to be the Gateway Arch of St. Louis, the new town of Defiance is what is left of an earth city after an alien race tried terra from our planet to meet the life requirements of it's own species. Sounds pretty cool. Inside the gate are remnants of old man made structures, pushed, nailed, glued or welded together in an eclectic collage of textures and colors. This is the new earth.

But I want to zero in on the gate. After all, it's only left standing for two episodes. It is then taken down by some of the most terrible and technologically advanced aliens ever to walk the earth. The city of Defiance, earns it's name by fighting off the horde and keeping the town safe. But now, life must resume without their magnificent blue gel gate. They FEEL exposed. I think I would, too.

In the time of the great Roman empire, many of our earth cities were fortified with great walls, and great gates. Much like the sci-fi town of Defiance, the gates were used for protection. But if you think about it, they were also a kind of boundary - all but sequestering the residence within it's protective barriers. You couldn't get inside unless you "were in the club". And most people didn't attempt to venture out. What if they left the safety of the gates and were somehow, not able to get back in? The people of Rome, just like the people of Defiance, allowed their fears to keep them inside their self-imposed prisons.

Safe? Maybe. But what would one do for food? How would somebody within the city walls get to "pasture"? Provide food for family and care for a home? And eventually, wouldn't the human DNA chains and physical biology bottle neck to a point that would prove difficult to perpetuate the human species? Sickness would soon become a huge issue.

I love this verse in John. We have been granted access through the gate. Into the blue gel boundaries that represent salvation and safety. We know this. Most of us cling to this verse because we DO have salvation through Jesus Christ. He is the ONLY safety and salvation. ...but take a peek at the rest of this verse. We can go in, yes, but God has also granted us access to go back out. We can go outside the city walls to find food, to find "pasture". To strengthen our families and our cities.

In fact. Aren't we told to do so?

I was asked recently by my niece, how people in far away lands and out-of-the-way places can be saved? What if they are never told about Christ? What if they are so remote, a tribe completely unto themselves - that they aren't told about the salvation in Jesus?  She said; don't they have some idea of a Higher power? A need to commune with their creator? Doesn't that count? If they never hear the Word of God, won't they be accepted into the gate because they are innocent and were never given the chance to obtain a key?

Sadly, the answer is no. No. There is ONLY ONE way in. Jesus is the Gate Keeper. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY is getting inside unless they go through Him.

That means.....we Saved Ones, HAVE to go back out. We have to pass through the giant blue gel Stasis Net to tell others how THEY can get inside. It's what we are called to do. In the icy ocean waters within which the giant Titanic is slipping toward a frozen tomb, we are called to share our life boats. Pack as many on as we possibly can. Step outside of our safety - our comfort zone - give those that need it, the password and access to the gate.

Share! Go out into the alien world beyond the blue gel Stasis Net and tell EVERYONE that there IS a way into the city. All they have to do, is accept it.

Pace of Grace

Psalm 61:2 -- "From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I."

Two days from my recent hospital discharge had me curled up in a ball in the recliner, breathing deeply - willing the oxygen to put a little spunk in my bones. I got nothin'. No spunk. And as I watched the mole-hill at the sink quickly become a mountain I argued with my tired and willed myself to get up and get some housework done. In the span of an hour, all I'd managed to do was clean off the table before I had to return myself to the recliner and take a few more deep breaths.

I thought of Psalm. Of David. Of the battles that he faced in both spiritual and the physical sense. I read his words as he called out to God. The tired in his voice reached out to my own and I found myself smiling. I call out to you, Father, when my heart grows faint. When my bones ache and my body is tired from my five day stent in the hospital. I smile. Because God is my rock. He is ALWAYS higher than I am, and I know I can ALWAYS call.

Amy Grant used to sing a song from which a few lyrics frequently pop into my head. She said: raise my hands so you can lift me up - hold me close, hold me tighter. I love singing these words because like David, she asks to be lifted up. And like me, she finds herself so exhausted that she can't even raise her arms up to ask for help.  She's asking that God do even that, in her lack of strength.  The amazing beauty of it is that in our weakness, God's strength shines.  ...so bright that it lights up the sky like a super-nova. The cool thing? The really great thing? Others can see a super-nova. In that moment when we are forced to be less of ourselves and rely so completely on the grace of God, others see a light. Others can know Him.

Dean Koontz once wrote: life is not about how fast you run or even with what degree of grace. It's about perseverance, about staying on your feet and slogging forward no matter what. I  think that's very true. It couldn't be more true when we find ourselves at the end of our physical abilities tethered to a frayed spiritual rope, hoping that last thin strand doesn't snap before we can set our feet once again firmly upon terra firma. We know how to achieve perseverance. Paul tells us this in his letters to the churches. And we know that perseverance, perfects our faith. I would LOVE to have perfect faith.

So yes, Lord, raise my arms so you can pick me up and hold me on higher, more solid ground. Shine so brightly within my weakness that others cannot help but see who You are. Pour out your grace through my tired and shine a burning beacon in the dark, in the hopeless, in the tired and worn. I do so love it when I can be used by You. I choose to set my race at the pace of your grace, and your grace alone. I will not reach the finish line any other way.

Bumps In The Night

Isaiah 46:4 -- "I will be your God throughout your lifetime...I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you."

I woke with a start. I couldn't get my eyes to focus and all I could hear was the pounding of my own heart, knocking around so hard that I felt that, surely I was shaking the bed. So I lay there, trying to catch my breath. The air didn't feel quite right but I couldn't put my finger on what was wrong.

Slowly, I got out of bed and scanned the room.  Nothing was amiss. But SOMETHING woke me from a deep sleep.

Stepping out in to the living room I look around, but again, I couldn't find anything out of place. After a walk-through of the entire house, I couldn't find the thing that jolted me from sleep. But as I reached the front door, the dead bolt lay unlocked. Nothing else had changed. Nothing else in the house had moved. Hands shaking more than a little - I reached out and turn the latch. The latch that I watched Tyler turn last night when I'd asked him to, just before we all went to bed.

We have more than one sleep walker in our house, but I had checked on them and they were both sound asleep. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what happened - what woke me up. So, I did what I always do when hit with a good dose of fear. I prayed. I gave up my worry and my trembling hands, I gave up the things that bump in the night, I gave up the weird tightness in my chest when I found the door unlocked. God is ALWAYS God, and will ALWAYS be - through out my entire life. He will carry me along - which is good at this moment, because my knees set to knocking.

My head is suddenly filled with a scene from Hellboy. A fresh face, a new welcome into an underground "club" walks through the door into a dimly lit "office". Just looking at him makes me think of soap and cookies and milk. I'll call him Squeeky Clean.  Enter Squeeky Clean's new boss.  Squeeky is introduced to the man in charge who does NOT look like soap and cookies and milk --  and after a tour of his new headquarters, with sheer confusion plastered on his face, he asks - who ARE  you people? The man in charge says - when it's dark, and things go bump in the night....WE are the ones who bump back.

I have one of those. One who will bump back. The Bible says so in Isaiah.

When things get a little harry, I pray very specifically. I pray: Lord, fill every square inch of our home with Your presence. Command your angels regarding our family and surround this home with guardian angels, keep us from harm.

The air conditioner hummed back on and the air began to move through the house. I took a deep breath in. I thank God for Isaiah 46:4. I need my Father to carry me today. I cling to His Word and rest peaceful, because I know He's in control.

Swiss Cheese

Psalm 142:3 -- "When my spirit grows faint within me, it is You who know my way."

It was explained to me in Swiss Cheese. I'm picturing the stuff in the small zip-lock bag at the bottom of the crisper drawer in my fridge. And it doesn't take very long for me to see how this is going to turn out. I was given a plane crash as an example:

On the tarmac, with hundreds of anxious and hurried people in the belly of a plane, the big metal bird is delayed because the co-pilot accidentally knocked his cup of coffee over and the hot joe fried a control panel on the console. It has to be replaced before the plane can take off. That's the first layer of cheese, set down on a small and other wise empty plate.

Enter the mechanic. He's the best at his job, but was in a huge argument with his wife last night and didn't get much sleep.  His head hurts, he's worried about this wife, and his mind isn't quite on the job. He replaces the electrical panel, but doesn't notice that an engine alarm light was also hit with coffee and has shorted out. When you think about it, it seems like a small thing, but it IS another piece of our cheese, place gently on top of the first one sitting on that plate. What are the odds of any of the holes in the cheese lining up perfectly? Allowing you to see all the way to the bottom of the plate? Maybe they don't line up all the way....but there are gaps, and SOME space is created and you can see parts of the plate through those gaps.

After take off, about mid flight - clouds are beginning to pile up in the sky - wind picks up, and a storm is generated. The pilots are now faced with dodging a rather nasty storm. The captain, has thousands of flight hours to his credit and is a very well-trained, well-experienced pilot. But they switched planes on him at the last minute, and much like having to get used to the feel of a new car, the pilot has to warm up to the new model of air craft. He's flown this type before, but is not in IT as frequently as he is other crafts. Another slice of the cheese on the plate. Do any holes line up?

The air plane is hit by lightning. Our tell-tale engine fire light comes on. The Captain shuts the engine down, as he's been trained to do. The other engines carry the plane with no problem. But the Captain didn't realize, the engine isn't really on fire. The warning light has shorted out. ...you guess it, another slice of cheese.

In an effort to dodge more lightning, he banks the plane left - on the opposite side of the "downed" engine. This bird is larger than he's accustomed, and without one of his right side engines, the plane pulls too far left, pushing the nose of the plane too low, and the pilot can't regain control. The bird goes down. Another slice of Swiss.

No one is seriously injured....but, if even ONE of the piled up slices of Swiss had not been placed on the plate, the holes might have lined up in differently, and the crash avoided. Maybe the pilot could have kept his job, and the airline could have avoided a slew of law suits.

What if the coffee hadn't been spilled on the console? What if the mechanic hadn't gotten into an argument with is wife? What if the first two slices of cheese hadn't been piled on the plate and the plane hadn't been delayed in the first place? They might not have run into the storm.

It's an interesting scenario. The thing that I couldn't help but latch onto as this scene played out in my head was: My God knows where all the holes are. I may fall into the gaps sometimes, as they line up just so....but my Father knows how to get by ALL of them. And while I may stumble, I may slip on occasion, my Father knows the way -- even when I can't see, and I'm left stumbling around in the dark, ready to trip on something. And really, if I were to be honest, it's usually my own fault the lights have gone out in the first place. I have overloaded a breaker somewhere and it eventually gives out.

As a pilot that just crashed a plane full of people -- I'm weary. As an individual stumbling around in a dark house without a flash light, I'm weary. As a homeschooling mom of a teenager, I'm weary. As a woman stretching the food budget and still eat healthy, I'm weary........I could go on. But I think you get the point.

When I'm weary - when I don't see all the holes in the Swiss Cheese, it only my Father who can get me back onto the hole-free path. I think it might be so very good - if I didn't wait until I was so weary to ask God to guide me in the first place.

Monday Night Wrestling

James 1:2 -- "Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy." [NLT]

It's almost like listening for noises with my ear pressed up against a wood barrel -- I hear the boys, laughing, giving some strange tactical instructions to their digitally pixelated men on the TV screen, and Steven, tinkering with the pinball machine...but I don't REALLY hear them because my nose is where it is so often on quiet home-bound evenings.....it's in a book. From deep into a Harlan Coban novel, my three men sound much like the teacher [or any adult] in a Charlie Brown cartoon. I am racing through dark streets with Myron Bolitar trying to save a teen age girl from her self and an untimely brutal death. The rest of the world fades away into the background.

I'm very quickly enthralled with Harlan's female side-kick - a former female wrestler who could model for Victoria's Secret -- NOT the model part of this character, obviously - but the wrestling part. In the descriptive pages wherein lies her sordid and gritty back story this woman/hero takes on opponents twice her size and they number in the hundreds. ...and yet, she usually wins. Her strength is in her cunning, her wit, and her speed. She revels in the thrill of the fight. It is very truly JOY for this woman - stepping into the ring and getting knocked around for an hour or two.

I don't understand the joy part of being knocked around. I wouldn't want to be anywhere NEAR that circus. AND yet -- here is Paul, telling us to do just that in James, chapter 1. Consider it a joy -- when you are faced with troubles.

If you've bumped into me this week - you have noticed right off the bat - that joy is NOT in the equation. It has been a very rough week. And I haven't come out of it with any medals, championship belts -- or flowers thrown at my feet with a crowd cheering me on.  ...no...if I were to be honest, I SHOULD be walking around with a bag on my head.

But, as this - the last day of the work week - sprung into day-break this morning and the sun popped out after a few days of tropical weather I couldn't help but smile, and step into the window to peek through the blinds. I have to put this in my gratitude journal. Because....there IS joy. It might not always feel like it. Especially when, in that ring with the bouncing ropes around the sides, you are hit with a chair that shatters across your shoulders and your trouble/enemy stands there strutting like a peacock. But -- there IS joy. Much like the Harlan Coban character, we have a secret, of which our opponent is completely unaware. All we have to do, is what SHE did.  Call Him into the ring. Let Him take over.

Our female former wrestler usually waited until the end of the match to do this - for entertainment and shock value. I don't know why I waited until the end of the week to do it. I certainly didn't find the week entertaining. I get so wrapped up in solving problems that I forget to let the Lord have total control. And it's my own fault I lay there in the middle of the ring, flat on my back with a couple of black eyes and some bruises from that stupid chair.

So ... I don't always see the joy in the fight. In the trouble. But I guess I should. It brings a great amount of joy to the heart when our Secret Weapon pulls the rug out from under Trouble. Looking up into the bright lights, arms raised high in victory - we can stand over defeated Trouble. It's Trouble's turn to lay flat on his back with a couple of black eyes and some nasty bruises from a well-timed folding chair to the back of the head.

Enjoy a nice slice of THAT!

Sun Showers

James 1:17 -- "Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow."

With my head under the surface, all I can hear is the water rushing over the rocks at the falls next to the pool and the occasional splash as children jump into the arms of their parents. The sun beats warm on my shoulders and I push myself to keep swimming. Keep moving through tired arms and burning legs. I've promised myself I'll do these laps every single day - for at least an hour. But I stop - to watch the rain.

Looking up into a blazing sky I am amazed every single time we get a Florida sun shower. I smile to myself and lay back to float. The guys are at the other end, in a contest to see who can hold his breath the longest. I watch big fat rain drops sploosh into the pool and wish I'd brought the water proof camera to capture the little divers as they displace water and then settle into little tiny craters. Bubbles form where the rain hits the water and I can't help but think of James 1:17. Every good thing comes from above. This is joy. In spite of the water that seems to have permanently settled in my left ear.

If I park my heels on the lip of the pool, lay back and relax my arms....I can float there, watching the clouds try to blow up an afternoon thunder storm. The buzzards try to ride the updraft and circle around, getting higher and higher - until I can barely see them. I hear the guys laugh - I can't tell who won their contest but I enjoy their laughter. The three of them, huddled in their own pow-wow, blowing water off their faces like whales. Content, in this private club of theirs that I don't mind not being a part of.

The whole day could end up in my gratitude journal - in my endeavor to count more than one thousand gifts, as Ann Voskamp suggested. Again, I smile to myself. God is amazing. Unlike the clouds that pile up in high towers that flatten out when they reach the edge of the troposphere  - God never changes. He is always the same. And He is always good. Lying there in the tiny waves generated by those around me - looking up into a sky that seems to go on forever - I feel small. I can almost see the earth spin - an am amazed by my position on it.

The next verse in James says: "He chose to give birth to us by giving us His true Word. And we, out of all creation, became His prized possession."

My heart swells. I don't always behave like a prized possession. While I long so to serve the Lord completely, by Monday morning I feel myself forget and step back into the worry, clinging to stress in a chaotic ocean of home school classes, family budget, house-hold chores, and so on. But on THIS day - I remember. I smile as the sun warms my face and the rain drops follow.

Out of ALL creation - I am His prized possession. I am so very, very thankful for this incredible love and grace.