Duh

Proverbs 6:27 -- "Can a man embrace fire and his clothes not be burned?"

It feels like it's been a hundred years. I was twenty-three when I'd learned that a very dear friend of mine squared her shoulders, cleared her throat and walked into the "family planning" clinic. She walked in alone - and she walked out lonely.

I write today, not to judge my friend. She has been forgiven. It is not my place to put her back into the memories of what happened and the torment that ensued.  I write today because I want people to see the scars. The flesh - the spirit - that cannot go back. Holding onto flame so close, to choices that burn so white-hot that the heat of them consumes parts of us - never to leave us whole again. There is a reason God has given us His statutes. Just as there are reasons we tell our children "no".

She, my friend, wanted to fit in. Much like so many of us - Christians, fellow Missionary Kids, just plain teenagers. She wanted to feel belonging - so she made choices that she thought would elevate her social status and create a sense of love and comfort, however false it may have been. It wasn't too long down this path that she'd learned she'd gotten pregnant. But she couldn't handle the consequences of her actions. --or perhaps, she didn't want to handle them. So she found her way to the clinic and "took care of the situation".

Today, umpteen years later - she dreams. She still hears a baby crying sometimes in the dead of night - darkness consuming and shadows hiding when her family lies blissfully asleep. She reaches for her tummy and places her palm there, gently. Tears falling down her face. The empty just won't go away. It will never go away.

She is God's. She DID move forward. She DID ask for forgiveness and received it - and she tries to live life to the full. I do not always see God in her life, but I know she is His. The rest is between Him and her. But as I read this verse today - it reminded me of her. And of course of terrible decisions I have made in my own life - but today - it was her story I wanted to share because we all think - it will never happen to us. It will be an example lived through some OTHER eyes, some OTHER life. Scars left on some OTHER body and soul. But I/WE are far removed, right?

And THAT'S how Satan snares us.

We think to ourselves - how glad we are that some of those things did not happen to us. That we are careful with our lives and with our choices, for the most part. But - this is the lie that will grant Satan points on the score-board. After all - WE aren't the ones who had an abortion. WE aren't the ones who secretly stole company funds. WE aren't the ones addicted to recreational or prescription drugs. WE stand apart don't we?

But....let me ask you this: Do we point fingers and whisper behind the backs of others? Do we show-boat our newest financial success? Do we walk through church doors sparkly clean, careful not to brush up against those whose souls are less immaculate than our own? Do we look down our noses at the bum on the street and suggest that he/she has no one to blame but personal bad choices?  .....or..... do we, dare I say it, shut the door on a family member or a friend because they do not live the way we were taught to live?

Through out my multi-church experiences I have seen this.  I have participated, even. Sad, but true. I don't suggest that we are NOT to say to someone: "I do not agree with your decisions. The Bible is clear on this issue." We have a biblical responsibility to speak God's true Word. My point is - there is not one sin greater than another. Holding on to a brightly lit match too long results in the same damage as does placing our hands on the eye of a stove. The heat is different, yes - but it is still heat.  And we will still get burned.

Can a man embrace fire and not be burned? A woman walking into a "family planning" clinic is the same forgiven soul as is a man walking the church isle with the offering plate, tongue itching to rat out his pew partner for not giving his tithe. It may seem a strange untruth - but it really isn't.

I've been reading a lot about humility as of late. So I suppose it's natural that I find a quest for humility in Proverbs 6:27. Do not hold onto flame - no matter how tiny the spark might seem - how insignificant the ember in the bottom of the fireplace. It can still pop out and catch the carpet on fire. Instead, stamp it out with humble feet. And when your neighbor's carpet starts to go up and turn to ashes that linger, that sting the eyes and burn the nostril - run over and grab a bucket. Don't walk away.