Home, Sweet Somewhere

Psalm 119:36-37 -- "Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain.  Turn my eyes away from worthless things; renew my life according to your Word."

Those of you who know me know that I published a book called "Home Sweet Somewhere" a while back. In my thinking, there is no way to better describe us -- weather we be Missionary Kids, Seminary Students, Choir members.....or really, any other function within the body of Christ here on earth.  Because, we are, indeed, aliens.  We don't really belong here.  Our home is waiting for us when we get to meet Jesus face to face.

Do we, as aliens, do things that don't reflect Christ because we want to fit in?

Eyes closed from extreme jet lag, I barely noticed rubber bouncing off black top underneath me and the captain announcing our arrival at the airport in Vancouver, Canada.   We had been in the belly of this steel bird for eighteen -- count 'em -- EIGHTEEN hours.  The last time my feet were anywhere near earth was when we took off from the air port in Hong Kong.

I'm not sure I would have opened my eyes anyway.  Jet Lag was a good excuse to ignore the world around me.....because I was angry at everyone.  Only a couple of days ago I had to say good bye to everything and everyone that represented home to me.  I grew up on tropic sands, underneath coconut palms nestled next to rice patties, surrounded by some of the most beautiful people I was ever to meet.  When the door to this plane opened with that all too-familiar hiss and popping of ears from the change in pressure.....a horrifying new "home" awaited.  Nope.....I think I'll just remain in my original and upright position with my eyes tightly shut against it all.

You could say, I didn't have a very good attitude.

Being an angry and anxty seventeen, I made some pretty horrible decisions in my struggle to "find my feet" as it were.  I never asked to be dragged all around the globe, up rooted from what most people would consider "home" and then transplanted onto foreign soil.  But then, growing a few roots while there....I never asked to be uprooted and transplanted back, either.  You could say....I was a wee bit on the bitter side.  I didn't REALLY belong in the Philippines, I knew that.  But I sure didn't belong here, either.

I was horribly, horribly uncomfortable. Feeling more than a little disoriented I did some pretty crazy things in an effort to make this new life....this new place.....my home.  No, I didn't go out and party, start in on the booze and drugs...nothing like that.  My rebellion was a bit more subtle.

I became obsessed with trying to fit in. I dated the wrong kind of people because I thought they were cool.  I hung out with some of my co-workers who frequented bars because I desperately wanted to be part of the group. [I would say I was going to be designated driver]. If the girls talked trashy a little in order to flirt....I would do the same thing. [Sorry, Mom & Dad...but it's true].  And, like a lot of  you fellow M.K's out there....I even rushed into a marriage without asking if it was what God really wanted of me...just so I could have a home.  A place to belong. [Note to all you young girls out there....WAIT on the Lord.  It really, really matters!]

My heart, was not focused on the Lord.  It was focused on me.  On how I FELT.  On what I looked like, on what title I might hold at a job.  It was a while before I came across this verse and was ready to give my anger to God.

"Renew my life according to your Word."

I needed renewal.  I wanted to fit in....but the thing I learned was.....I'm not ever going to.  And I'm not supposed to want to.  Paul tells us several times through out his letters to the churches to "be not of this world".  We don't belong here.

If I think about it....I'm kind of glad I don't fit in.  Maybe it should scare me a little if there comes a time in my life when I think I do.

So I pray this verse a lot, now.  "Lord, keep me focused on your statues."  YOUR home for me, is the only one I really want.