The Mercy Fish

Jonah 1:17 -- "But the Lord provided a great fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was inside the fish three days and three nights."

Most of us have known this story since we were small children.  Jonah didn't want to do what God told him to, so he ran. In the throws of his "escape" he took a boat in an attempt to get even further away from God. His presence on the boat causes a great storm and Jonah tells the crew that it's his fault, they should throw him over. ...they did.  The angry seas calmed.  The boat sailed away.

And the fish came along...

Dead in the middle of a long, dreary, sleepless and just plane horrible night, my shaking fingers found the volume on the CD player and I turned the music up.  Amy Grant was telling us all about what love is for and I had tears pouring in torrents down my face.

The person to whom I was married....legally vowed and loyal to....had not yet returned from what he called a job.  It was 1:00 in the morning.  I knew the exact time that he was scheduled to punch his time card and come home....to his wife and 6 month old baby boy.  But....he wasn't home.  And I knew exactly where he was.

I had been literally on my face, knees on the floor and red from hours of remaining motionless, knuckles white from the tight grip on my Bible pouring out my very broken heart in all of it's tattered pieces to God in prayer. ...for days.  "God, I know you are big enough to fix this.  I've seen you work the most amazing miracles in war-torn Africa, in the chaotic political turmoil of the Philippines, and in countless ways pertaining to my own life.  If You can do all of that, I KNOW you can fix this marriage.  Make the affairs stop.  Show me what I need to do to make my husband happy and stay at home.  Fix me...show me how to make this marriage work.  I know you always answer the prayers of those that humbly seek you out and diligently ask for your help...answer me.  Fix this."

No.

I prayed everything right.  I even prayed with friends and family always in the name of Jesus Christ...but just days after the room was plummeted into dark silence as the CD player turned itself off and Amy Grant's voice was no longer pumping through the stereo speakers, the person to whom I was married, moved his girlfriend into our home. [I wasn't there].

So there I sat, flailing about in a raging sea......

Wow. God parted the red sea using Moses, God brought the walls of Jericho down through Joshua, God saved all of us from ourselves through Jesus Christ and he even saw fit to save me when I almost died giving birth to Brian...He couldn't save this marriage?  Didn't Brian deserve to grow up in an unbroken home? Isn't it His ultimate will for us to remain committed to our marriage vows and work things out?

No was God's answer.  I didn't like it.  I didn't understand it.  I couldn't breathe. My legs and feet stopped working and I just sat in a crumpled heap on the floor in total shock.  This just couldn't be happening.  It couldn't!  I was a missionary kid for crying out loud....born again when I was five and was raised by a minister Dad who just happened to be involved in marriage enrichment.  This just wasn't happening!

But, God sent a great fish named divorce and it swallowed me whole.

In Jeremiah God tells that He has plans to prosper us, not to hurt us, but plans to give us hope and a future. [Jeremiah 29:11] God had a purpose for me and that little six month old baby boy.  Plans not to harm us, but to give us hope. HOPE!!  Plans to prosper us. PROSPER!

Just days after Brian turned three years old [I had been a single Mom for close to three years] Steven W. Dalton asked if we should set a date. I was confused....it took me a minute to process that he had just asked me to marry him.  Wow....REALLY?  I couldn't believe he wanted to marry ME! Didn't he know I was used merchandise with tattered packaging? Didn't he realize I was a two-fer? He'd be an instant Dad?

I was given joy.  WE were given joy. It is so hard during the nightmare moments we find ourselves buried deep within to see that - the fish that just ate us whole - was sent out of mercy, not spite or punishment.  I certainly couldn't see the mercy part when it felt like my life was falling apart back in 1994. ....but God did.  God took the mess that I had made of my life and turned it into HOPE, JOY and the precious gift of a wonderful, strong, and PROSPEROUS marriage.

What would have happened to Jonah if the fish hadn't swallowed him?  He was flailing about in a raging sea.  He might have drown. Or he might have died of thirst or starvation.  But God was merciful.  He didn't allow Jonah to perish, but he sent a great fish to swallow him.

We don't always understand it when God tells us no. Sometimes it can feel a lot like defeat.  But God holds the plans and He knows what we need. Sometimes, it might take a whale to get us back on the right track, I gotta' say, right track sure sounds a lot better then spending the rest of our lives in the belly of a smelly fish.