Just Tuesday - Part II

James 3:5b-6 -- "Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell."

image: "Street Fighter" [1994] Capcom/Universal Pictures

It was a wonderful balmy Friday night somewhere deep in the South of Mindanao. The house lights were all on and laughter was floating up in wisps through the tops of the Mango trees and the thick air. A tape had been placed in the Beta-max and a group of guys poked fun at the characters on the bulky '80's tv screen. A comradery was founded there between this "band of MK brothers". One that would last a life-time.

As the father of the pre-teen party host entered the room to join the gang, he over-heard one of the boys talking about a girl at school. It would seem that the boy, Jason - had a small interest in one of his class-mates, Janet. [she was actually one of my class-mates, too.] Dad knew the girl and was not shy about his dislike of her. For whatever reason, Dad could not find anything nice to say about Janet. He looked at Jason through the blue glowing light of the movie playing in the background and asked: "You like Janet? Isn't she .... kind of big?"

Dumbfounded, Jason shrugged his shoulders. Was Janet kind of big? He'd never really thought about it. Dad's words didn't poke a hole in Jason's interest, really. But he decided to sit on his idea about asking her out. He wouldn't want his comrades to laugh at him for a dumb crush.  

The words that shot out like a cannon into the night on that simple Friday night DID make their way back to the young and budding Janet - as words will do.  And as the tears ran down her cheeks in the pink glow of a tropical sunset - she looked into the long mirror set into the wall in her bedroom. She could see no beauty there. Perhaps that Dad fellow was right. Perhaps she was too big to inspire compliments from young boys or - maybe - she was even too big for anyone to truly love. [those of us who knew her though, could tell you she wasn't big at all.]

The next twelve years of Janet's life were careful, painful years. She often denied herself the physical fuel her body so desperately needed to grow into full womanhood. She ran up and down the hills near her high school dormitory and became obsessed with aerobics. She constantly checked the size of her wrists and endlessly stepped onto the scale. When at the age of 16 - at 5 foot 7 - she  weighed in at 115 pounds, she was devastated. She'd not eaten for three days and couldn't imagine how there were still an "extra" fifteen pounds on her now semi-boney frame. To battle the stubborn weight, she spent the humid night doing laps in the dormitory pool. She would wake up early and go to bed late. Sleep would interfere with her metabolism.

At the age of 21 Janet was skilled at hiding the fact that she didn't really eat. She almost lost her first child during the first few weeks of pregnancy and so dedicated herself to eating for the baby. But after the baby was born, Janet continued her systematic starvation.

I still know Janet, though I don't see her often. She now has a great family of her own and a new life.  Perhaps she has put on weight now that she's learning to eat like a normal person, but she's healthier now than she was. She strives to set her value in the Lord and not in her appearance. But -- she can still hear those words play back in her head. Isn't she kind of big? She still finds no beauty when she looks into the mirror. So she avoids it whenever able.

I am reminded again of the movie Street Fighter and the villain played by actor, Raul Julia. In the tense but comical moments when he is faced with a ninja fighter bent on revenge due to some of his past villainous actions - he puts things into perspective for her. In her eyes is fury and pain as she recites to him a speech she's practiced since her childhood. She reminds him of the destruction of her childhood home and explains why her revenge is justified. But Raul Julia says of that fateful day long ago: "for you, it was the most important day of your life - for me, it was just ... Tuesday."

Raul Julia was trying to make the point that his actions were not personal. She was of no significance to him. He ravaged all the villages - not just hers. But to her, his actions were monumental and shaped the paths she would take for the rest of her life. He couldn't understand it - but he'd done something HUGE and terrible in her life. 

The Dad fellow in the deep tropical Mindanao thought nothing of his remark to young Jason. It wasn't a monuments well-planned decision to say those things, and he couldn't have imagined that the words would make their way back to the young and impressionable ears of young Janet. For him, it was just ... an opinion. Just words. Just ... Friday.

The entire book of James 3 focuses on the taming of our sometimes wicked tongues. He says in vs. 5 that: just as a huge forest can become ablaze by one tiny spark - so our tongue can damage another person. 

Isn't that the truth? 

I am reminded today to be careful with the things I say. My opinions might seem on the surface - to be trivial - but - they might be quite hurtful to someone else. 

Don't you wish they made an automatic filter for that?

Since they don't - perhaps I should daily guard my tongue and give it freely to serve my Lord, Jesus Christ.