Neighbor Be Ware

Proverbs 12:26 -- "A righteous man is careful when dealing with his neighbor, but the ways of wicked men lead them astray."

image: gettyimages.com

Once upon a Christmas weary came a stranger with his hands stretched out ... deep into our purses we reached ... and quickly learned what "con" is about. [give me a little break on that one, I've not written poetry in a long time.]

In the crazy that was the check-out lane at our local Wal-Mart, my three guys and I made some last minute purchases for our extended family Christmas party. We were tired and sooooo not in the Christmas spirit. At the end of our line was a dirty looking middle-aged man with a very weary looking pre-teen sprawled out on one of those metal mesh benches. It pulled at my heart-strings. The adult looked forlorn and very stressed out. And in my observation I made the huge mistake of making direct eye contact. Even with my husband standing right next to me, the guy knew he'd found his mark.

With steady, sad eyes the dirty man told us this horrible story about how his wife had passed on and he had been forced to move down here to find work from a far-away state. He was almost "home" but had run out of gas and of course, the money with which to purchase it. He just had to be a little further south by the next morning or he would lose his job opportunity and had put all of his hopes for food on the table into this new employer.

The weight of my frivolous Christmas purchases suddenly put a huge strain on my arms and I wanted with all of my heart to help this guy out. Against my better judgement, I gave my hubby-pooh a long sad look and he reached into his wallet and gave the stranger some cash. Steven, of course, was not very happy with me for putting him on the spot - and he was rightfully agitated by the time we reached our car and had our stuff piled in to the trunk.

Steven reminded me that we support our church in their efforts to provide for those in deep need and that there are proper and safer channels through which to help others. He was right, of course - and his reminder REALLY hit home when I saw the dirty dude hop into his brand new SUV with Florida tags, pre-teen in tow - quickly followed by the loud screech of brand-new tires as he peeled out of the parking lot at what had to be mach 1.

I know - I've blogged about being conned before ... and it's because I have a tendency to fall for these kinds of things very easily. When I came across this verse today, however - it was never more real to me - because my son has a very huge, kind, and giving heart when it comes to his peers. Especially if they find themselves in a rough home life.

Currently we have "adopted" one of my son's friends because he was desperately in need of a place to regroup and get back on his feet. [Prior to our home this sweet young man was living in his car.] He's been with us for more than six months now and I'm proud to announce that our new "son" is back into a good job, and soon to be back out on his own.  We are glad we could help, but I can't deny it's been a strain both financially and emotionally. It's been most difficult for my husband. And - this week, my son was yet again knocking on my bedroom door to ask me to help a friend of his who's been forced to leave home.

Without even thinking about it too hard I agreed.

The problem? Well, this friend of my son's is a sixteen year old female. That means, she is technically a minor. There are ALL KINDS of laws about minors leaving home.

I live in a house with mostly adult males.

Guess who's step-dad is a cop?

You see where I'm going with this? I made a HUGE mistake that could have put my son and his adopted "brother" - not to mention my husband - in jail. Thank our wonderful God that Sweet Sixteen was only here for one night and that no police showed up at my door with hand-cuffs at the ready.

Sigh. I often leap before I look. And unfortunately, I've instilled this behavior in my children. So, as I said, when I came across this verse today - I could feel the words wash over me in rebuke. I did not handle this situation correctly. At all.

I should have talked with Steven first. And I should have looked into all the facts.

There is no question that Sweet Sixteen is in trouble and in great need. [To be honest, I've kind of fallen in love with her and wish I could adopter her]. I will continue to do what I can - legally - to help her. My son is going to start taking her to church with us, and I have given her my cel phone number so that she may call - no matter when - if she should need to do so. But you see - I did not exercise caution. I not only undermined my husband's authority in this household by making a huge decision without him - but I potentially endangered our whole family. That is NOT a great way to serve the Lord.

Get involved. That is what we are supposed to do! But keep Solomon's words in mind and be careful when dealing with your neighbor [or fellow man]. Pray. Research. Pray some more - and then help others through the proper, legal channels. Look BEFORE leaping and live to leap another day.